Survival Guide

The London underground is a massive transport network and being the oldest underground train network in the world certain things just come naturally to Londoners and Commuters. They are listed below for anyone coming to our fair city.

  • Do wait until the people get OFF the tube before getting on.
  • Don’t stop in the middle of the stairs/Entrances/Doors you’ll be run over by the herd behind.
  • Walk on the left, STAND on the right
  • Men: DO NOT read Harry Potter or “Chick flic” Books, it does not make you look sensitive and kind, it makes you look desperate and sad.
  • The London Underground: It’s busy and run by a bunch of muppets – deal with it.
  • The staff are not muppets, they can help you if you need it – don’t be afraid…
  • There is no such thing as an “overcrowded train”, if you get in and have to hold on its classed as “Full”, if you don’t have to hold on its classed as “Busy”.
  • Avoid making eye contact, you don’t know what nutters are about.
  • Due to the years of IRA Bomb threats, NO ONE, i mean NO ONE will touch an unattended bag, that means you can leave it in the space provided and not block up the aisles.
  • Be considerate of other tube users, except Tourists, they deserve everything they get…
  • Don’t be nice, no one else will be…
  • There is no such thing as “Manners” in rush hour.
  • Find a seat and take it, you could be on the tube for a VERY long time. Unless there are pregnent women about!
  • Don’t push past people… Until you have said “Excuse me”, then you can do what you want.
  • DO take your backpacks off your back when you enter a tube carriage.
  • If one person gets off, then two can get on. Three or Four in rush hour.